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WHAT IS MID-LIFE CRISIS?



By Craig Nathanson

    First, the view of a mid-life shift is up to the perspective of the viewer. The common belief is that somewhere between the ages of 35-45, people start to gain awareness, perhaps for the first time of their remaining time. A person's finite time becomes clearer. This could come as a result of a death in the family, forced unemployment or any number of unanticipated events. Suddenly, a person is confronted with aging. Many of us are ill-prepared for how to deal with mid-life. All at once, time seems to move much too fast. Careers, family, marriages and individual growth all compete for top gun. We all deal with these new challenges much differently. At mid-life, children leave home in many cases, for some there are multiple marriages, and widowhood for others. Society's view of old age doesn't help spur much support for mid-life. At mid-life, depression, suicide, poverty, smoking and alcoholism rates all rise. Worries increase around everything from jobs becoming dull, to lack of energy.

    SOCIAL PRESSURES CLIMAX
    For men and women, social pressures climax. Many have had some reasonable career success in their eyes, some education and made some money. Added to this, continuing pressures with the balancing act between family and work, aging parents and a renewal of work and branching out for the spouse and you have a challenging time indeed. This leads many to divorce their spouses, have affairs, fall into depression, experience declining levels of energy and an overall feeling of not knowing what to do. Very few openly confront the issues of mid-life. Why? Fear of change, fear what one might discover about themselves. The most exciting yet threatening journey can be the journey within one's self. For some, mid-life is a time to let go of past emotional events and move forward. Our attitudes and perspectives change. In mid-life, we start to question ourselves. We become anxious and worry about the rapid change around us. We worry about our self image, past mistakes and our retirement just to name a few. It becomes harder in mid-life to take risks, yet we start to question our life's scripts and ask, it this current role satisfying? We question our daily habits, our achievements and the daily events we carry out each day. In mid-life, individuals start to deal with personal dilemmas that were postponed during many years of a career build up.

    LIVE IN THE PRESENT
    For many, mid-life is a time for preoccupation. Insight and self-scrutiny brings out fears of death, aging and chronic anxiety. Yet many mid-life adults find new methods to release endorphins and how to start to live in the present. Mid-life adults suddenly find creativity, they never knew existed before, as they think of new choices in their lives. The good news is, mid-life starts the longest period of our lives. We can take that restless vitality and utilize it. For many, it can be a time to not use this energy to pull away from the pack, but to reach internal goals for one's self. Mid-life adults can start to learn new methods not necessarily to change their life, but the way they experience their lives. This can lead to new choices for making mid-life a process for self improvement and not a journey to the unknown. Mid-life can be a choice for renewal or stagnation.

    CHOICES FOR GROWTH WITHOUT THE CRISIS
    Utilizing internal strategies for growth will help ourselves, As so many companies defines personal growth as the responsibility of the employee (all of us), it becomes an increased focus as we enter mid-life. Sometimes, all it takes is more new ideas to drive us to action.

    TWENTY INTERNAL STRATEGIES FOR MAKING MID-LIFE A WAKE UP CALL
    1. Assess my health. What MUST I do improve it? (Most of us focus on what we should do)

    2. How much sleep do I need? ( Many of us are sleep deprived in mid-life)

    3. What can I do to gain more energy? (Many of us ask, why am I so tired?)

    4. What's great about my relationships that are important to me? ( It's human nature to ask the reverse)

    5. What can I do to feel better about myself? (We tend to look to others to raise our self esteem)

    6. What can I do to make my job more exciting? (Usually, we like to focus on what's dull)

    7 . What can I do to slow down my environment so I can enjoy it? (Take a slow walk because in mid-life things seem to move too fast)

    8. What can I do to make sure that each day, I enjoy what I do? ( It's easier to accept a dull well known routine then change to something better)

    9. What are the services I provide? Who am I as a person? (More empowering then if we think of ourselves as job titles, too fragile)

    10. What habits do I want to change, and how will my life improve as a result? (If we can see the benefits, we will change)

    11. What rules would I have to follow to be the weight I desire? (At least knowing one's options can help spur change)

    12. What would I be like in five years if I stopped smoking today? (What if? )

    13. What can I learn from this mistake? (Too many times, we ask ourselves why we just failed)

    14. Where can I make a difference starting today? (Aging is one's perspective of not having contributed enough)

    15. What financial gains am I most grateful of? (Sometimes, we get caught up in the moment)

    16. What can I do to feel better? (We get a different answer, when we ask, how come I feel so bad?)

    17. What can I do to increase those around me that care about me? (Many times we want to increase our network, but we stay in our office for fear of rejection)

    18. What's great about my kids? (I am sure you can guess what traps we fall into here)

    19. What can I do to help someone else be successful? ( This is a 2 for 1 deal when you help someone else)

    20. What am I most happy about? (You can plug in what you usually ask yourself and what the answers are)

    Skip the crisis and answer your wake up call ! Review and buy now more of Craig’s writing and research at:

    The Vocational Coach (tm)
    http://www.thevocationalcoach.com
    ''Guiding you to discover and live your vocational passion''
    Workshops, Publications, Retreats and Private Coaching
    Phone 925-736-3952 Fax 925-736-5758
    craig@thevocationalcoach.com





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