Love Online

Boomers International Board: Singles : Love Online
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Friday, June 2, 2000 - 04:08 am:

Do you believe in Love Online? Long distance romances? I need to know if there are many couples out there that have found each other and are very happy together.
Lonely Heart


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Starjm50 on Saturday, June 3, 2000 - 01:06 pm:

Love on line should only be taken as you would Love in the Real World!! If you are finding your Friends,or Looking for Love,only in the Cyber World,than there is Something Wrong!!
Love is All Around You in the Real World,it just comes in the Many Differant Forms,as it should!!
If you're not Recognizing it,than again Something is Deeply Wrong!!
The Net World is a Great Place for Meeting People From Many differant parts of this Country and this World,but being careful is one watch Word. Another is Reading between the Lines in conversations and Posts,it will tell you alot about those Faceless Folks as you Converse!!
Searching on the Net should be done with out letting Emotions Get in the Way,just as you would do in the Real World,"Caution" is the Word!!
If you do find someone,in cyberspace,and something happens to you,in the negative,than like the Real World you have "No One To Blame But Yourself",and Frankly should not Look to Others online to give you Much Sympathy!!
Being and Acting as the Adult you are,wether in real life or in Cyberspace,is the Only Way you will find a Meaningful Relationship of Any Form Anywhere!!!!!!!!!!!


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Linda on Sunday, June 4, 2000 - 12:19 am:

Long distance romance? Sure. Online love? Unlikely. I believe the possibility of falling in love with the 'feeling of love' exists online. However, the one-on-one contact with another is necessary in order for the magic to unfold and develop.. the magic that takes place in the heart. Without the presence of inflection during conversation, there is too great an area for misunderstanding. I became 'involved' with a man I met online at the beginning of the year. We recently agreed to explore the next 'step' and arranged a meeting. It was planned. It was going to happen. I couldn't wait! Then... he didn't show. He didn't call. I've read and re-read our messages over and over again but fail to understand their true meaning. I once thought I did but now realize I was wrong... I saw something there that wasn't. I saw only that which I wanted to see amongst the assortment of words and gestures.

I can't say today that I'll never find myself wondering about online romance again... my search for a better understanding will live on.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Sunday, June 4, 2000 - 01:49 am:

Dear Linda.. Perhaps he is on the way and just wanted to surprise you? IF not.. Hopefully he will explain to you why he didn't show if you chat online with him again.
No matter what happen.. I hope that you are doing alright after this disappointing "experience". If you two are still communicating online then hopefully he will tell you of his reason for the no-show.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Linda on Sunday, June 4, 2000 - 02:29 am:

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for your encouraging words. I have many doubts I'll see him online again so I will continue to ask myself "Why, why, why?" with no reply. My mind will race and become absorbed with my own answers. Experience will dictate my first answer... I'm an unmarried woman with three very young, beautiful children. His assurance that this would not present a problem rested easily with me. But is it the truth? Ahhh... the truth and online chatting... an interesting combination.

At this very moment, he should be here... he was due to arrive yesterday... a 17-hour drive that began three full days ago. I'm not angry, I'm hurt. And I'm worried. I feel powerless. I need to know he's okay before I can put this to rest and carry on.

I need what every healthy, developing individual needs... closure.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Sunday, June 4, 2000 - 02:56 am:

Dear Linda. 17 hour drive is a long trip. In that case then, I hope that he is alright too and that he is safe and on the way to you. The driving could have taken a little longer than the original plan. Best wishes to you both.

Have faith in love.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Sunday, June 4, 2000 - 03:21 am:

Dear linda
the guy is a jerk, drop him.. he coulda phoned if he wasnt coming or if he was going to be delayed.
there are many many fanastic guys online, i know this, i'm about to marry one, yours is a definite jerk.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Starjm50 on Sunday, June 4, 2000 - 06:52 am:

Assumtions are Readily Made be it online or in Real Time.
Expectations are generated from that which we see around us,without looking at our True Selves!!
Calling Faceless People names,inlight of not Knowing the True Reasons behind Actions,come very easily in the Real World as well as Online!!
Linda if you have Three Children,with Love,what more do you need!! If a True Loving Relationship is to Come into your Life,it will happen. Be it online or in the world around you.
If you have Family,near you,and Friends,who's faces and voices you can see and Hear,you give the Many Levels of Love There!!!
If you are Using the Internet To Find Friends And Love Relationships,than as I Stated Before Something Is Wrong!!
If you have set up a Meeting with a Person Met Online,and your Expectations are,in your mind "A True Ever Lasting Love",your chances are Virtually Nill To None!!
Who's to say that this one you are waiting for Hasn't Arrived and is just Watching!! Who's to say that his intentions were Honorable,but might be moving to fast for comfort,who's to judge that he Really May Be a Jerk,in other words it's easy too judge in the Virtual World,why not We Do It Daily in the Real World. Mainly because in Reality it's Us Who Are The True Jerks,because we don't allow others to be themselves,We Expect Everyone We Meet To Be What We Expect,Knowing We Are Inferior yet Not Wanting To Admit it To Ourselves!!
Can Love be found online,yes it can,but be Honest With Ourselves first and Truely Know Who We Are,before we ask others to be someone they are not!!!!!


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Jeri on Sunday, June 4, 2000 - 01:42 pm:

Every experience in life is an opportunity for us to learn and expand spiritually and mentally. We can use it as a tool for our function of healing.
This may seem difficult at times but we have choices. We can choose to abandon and escape, or we can choose to learn and move on to a better, brighter day, a brighter future.

We can be sad and despair, we can let our emotion run amok and control our life.. acknowledge it, face it, keep it available to the conscious mind, then the energy goes towards a improvement of our psyche and our soul. IT is a part of healing and growth.... LET it be ... but ... PICK up the pieces and go on....

Pray, meditate, find our own sanctually. Look for beauty all around us...Look for beauty in people around us....

Seek and we can find .. Happiness is our own choice and often hidden ... deep within our hearts.

Peace, Love and Light


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Linda on Sunday, June 4, 2000 - 01:53 pm:

Dear Starjm50,

I understand what you're saying, and you make some very good points. Love online cannot be 'found', for one would have to be 'looking for it' in the first place. I have never 'looked' for love or romance in the virtual world but I also never expected an opportunity would present itself where I could explore the possibility further. Yes, we are all surrounded by love in the real world... sadly, many of us can't see that.

Having spent more than two years online, I have learned many valuable lessons. And now, after being consumed by life at my fingertips for the past four months, it's time for a break. A time to re-evaluate where I came from, where I am today and where I'd like to be tomorrow.

The moment is now.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Jeri on Sunday, June 4, 2000 - 05:46 pm:

Check Our Boomers Intl pages.. Interesting article on Cyperspace Romances..

http://www.rider.edu/users/suler/psycyber/bvinterview.html

Coming soon on Boomers Intl..

http://boomersint.org/counsel.htm
Online Counseling.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Tuesday, June 6, 2000 - 06:08 pm:

By Anonymous on Sunday, June 4, 2000 - 03:21 am:
Dear linda
the guy is a jerk, drop him.. he coulda phoned if he wasnt coming or if he was going to be delayed.
there are many many fanastic guys online, i know this, i'm about to marry one, yours is a definite jerk.

You so right, I rather be meeting people offline in person from now on. Online people can hide behind their masks and create fault persona. We assume fault expectation with someone who are vitually not a complete "Person" until you realy meet them.
I met many men online but only few that I am willing to meet with off-line. Out of several (over 10) that were chasing me offline I have 3 good friends. 1 out of 3 turned out to be superior than the other 2.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Friday, June 23, 2000 - 01:25 pm:

When the "TRUST" element in the relationship is not there, it is time to move on, or tell him/her to move on. Why do think that he/she will not lie to you again. Well, if you want to be a floor-mat and have people walk all over you then it is your choice.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Friday, June 30, 2000 - 01:16 am:

Who cares about "TRUST" Love is BLIND...


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Linda on Saturday, July 1, 2000 - 02:23 pm:

A view from a different angle...

BLIND LOVE

A few years ago I took part in a "blind walk". With a scarf covering my eyes, I was led in silence up a narrow rocky gully. I had no idea who was leading me; not even their gender. The only contact was a hand at my elbow, gently guiding me, showing me where I needed to step up onto the rocks, or across the small stream that ran down the gully.

By the end of the walk, I felt a deep and unexpected love for my guide. I knew nothing of him or her as a person. It was the care and attention given me that had brought forth my love.

Normally when we fall in love, we fall in love with a person's appearance, their personality, their likes and dislikes, the way they do things, the sound of their voice, the way they dress, etc. We fall in love with those who fit our notions of the perfect person, with those who support our own beliefs and realities, and with those who might satisfy our needs for security, approval, stimulus, growth and nourishment.

Conversely, when someone fails to fit our expectations, we judge them negatively, and so block our love. In extreme cases, they become "someone I could never love".

But put on a blindfold, and in silence feel their care, their love for you as a fellow human being, and you may find yourself loving them as deeply as a close friend. Such love is truly blind -- blind both to their imperfections and to their perfections.

Peter Russell, Author


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Linda on Saturday, July 1, 2000 - 08:33 pm:

Okay, just one more.... then I'll share the link at the end of this page...

LOVE

Love is not something you do,
It is not how you behave.
There's nothing you can do that constitutes loving another,
No action that is of itself loving.
Love is a way of being.
And more than that,
It is simply being.
Being with another person, however they may be.
Holding no judgements, having no agendas,
No need to have them experience your love,
No desire to demonstrate love,
No intrusion upon their soul.
Nothing but a total acceptance of their being,
Born of your total acceptance of yours.

Yes, it becomes a bit more complicated when this is something we face online... but nothing that can't be accomplished when two people who are right for each other come together.

Here's some more interesting reading....

http://www.peterussell.com/PT.html


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Psychbabe on Tuesday, August 8, 2000 - 02:30 am:

Love is selfless, inwardly, divine and forever. Love is not a desire, Love is not a want to have but a want to give. Give of one's self, give of one's heart ..


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Tuesday, August 8, 2000 - 11:58 pm:

Long distance Romance is difficult and some times it is just an elusive dream and a fantasy. You are vulnerable and then someone is there for you chatting with you everyday.. So..You project yourself into this person.. The keyboard and your fingers become your emotion lifeline. Every day you get up and you rush to the computer to see that he or she is online so you can send kisses to each other.. You see something on the screen that you can interpret it anyway you want, he/she is so loving etc...... You laugh together, you are sad together, you love, you lust.. You want to touch, to feel the other person... So you make plan to visit each other.. Well then you meet. First time you see him or her, you either fall madly in love forever or .. Luke warm?? or .. COLD Turkey?? LOL...

Only after you move in and live together for a few weeks... THEN the real truth comes out Ha Ha Ha.... Well ...


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Psychbabe on Wednesday, August 9, 2000 - 03:19 am:

Web romance
Nearly three of four adults say that maintaining a relationship over the Internet while in an exclusive relationship in the real world is cheating.
Source: International Communications Research

http://www.usatoday.com/snapshot/life/lsnap164.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Wednesday, August 9, 2000 - 03:23 am:

http://www.usatoday.com/snapshot/life/lsnap164.htm

Oooops! Correction!


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Friday, August 11, 2000 - 12:12 pm:

The whole phenomenon of on-line romance is a very
destructive development. It allows people to be
duped by those who are deceptive and manipulative. It encourages a disconnection from the real world,
and an escape into fantasy. This whole situation
has come about because of technology, but it is
fueled by the isolation of so many of us in the modern world. There was a time when we had a closer, more positive connection to people in our neighborhoods and communities, but today it is most likely that one doesn't interact with neighbors. And it is certainly true the workplace doesn't encourage friendships today, and romances at work may possibly bring about sexual harrassment charges. People are cautious--society is not as open as it once was. Loneliness and depression are rampant--hence the dependence on internet romance. I know. I've been there. Never again.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Psychbabe on Friday, August 11, 2000 - 01:50 pm:

Since the dawn of time we are lead to believe that we are created to be with someone (Adam and Eve). We are lead to believe that we are not whole and complete without our other halve. We are lead to believe that we can not live alone and be happy. All these beliefs, hence, we create our own world of loneliness and emptiness when are are alone and not with someone that we think we love and need! We project ourselves to a person that we want to be with, to have beside us. We project our love to him or her and loneliness set in when we realize that the person does not returns our love.

We can create our own peace and serenity and a sanctuary of our own life if we choose to LOVE all. We can complete our lifes, our hearts, our minds, spirits and souls with all OF humanity, not with just one person or one's immediate family ... We have to become SELFLESS and less SELF-CENTERED. We must look within ourselves, inwardly for happiness and contentment but REACH OUT outside of ourselves to share with humanity and the whole universe in kindness and caring way...... That is the true essence of living....

The phenomenon and explosion of Online relationship is a by-product of technology. We can not blame computers and internet usages alone. Technology are created by people and used by people and it makes it easier for people to have INSTANT interaction and gratification from the safety of our own home.

The problems with Online Romance are set when we are vulnerable ... WE WILL abandone all of our GUARDS and follow our hearts which are at a WEAK moment and in a TENDER state! What we have to do is to use our mind as well but some people just want to follow their hearts.

No matter what, if and when things don't work out and your Online relationship ends unhappily, make it a life's learning lesson. Make it a VALUEABLE experience and not a SORROWFUL mistake....

Easier said than done....but when you love someone, you will always LOVE that person. He or she leaves a part of himself or herself in you...... in your heart and mind... in your spirit and soul... Believe me, YOU WILL BE A BETTER Person and a better LOVER for your next loving relationship.....

Peace, Love and Light ...


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Psychbabe on Friday, August 11, 2000 - 02:07 pm:

There are people in this world who live their lives in a made-up world of their own... The internet makes it easier to lead you into a wrong relationship and be mis-leaded by any of them. Being online, you have a disadvantage that you can not see the person face-to-face during a conversation. You can not look into the person's eyes and observe his or her body language. To tell you the truth... You can not be sure of anything he or she says! Heck who knows, there might be a wife or a husband or a girlfriend or a boyfriend, in the other room!!!!

Sometimes in a real life, offline and in a face-to-face situation you wouldn't even be attracted to that person in the first place ....

Alas, unfortunately, the sorry state is that when you are online and when you are vulnerable... YOU WILL FALL for him or her .......

Peace, Love and Light


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Psychbabe on Friday, August 11, 2000 - 11:45 pm:

A very insightful thought on Soul Mate.

"Even though experience has repeatedly proven that their attitudes and views with regard to love and sexuality bring them only failure and disappointment, the majority of people persist in the belief that it is not their understanding that is at fault, but simply the fact they have not yet met their soul mate. Happiness, they believe, is merely a question of meeting someone. Unfortunately this is not how things work, because a soul mate is not a man or woman one meets, just like that, in the street and with whom you will fall in love at first sight. Meeting a soul mate is firstly a psychic process in other words mental, emotional, and spiritual by which the higher part of your self attracts its counterpart. And you need to have been working for a long time before you can identify the higher part of your self. Those who make great efforts to prove themselves worthy of their divine half will attract it. A bond will establish itself with their divine half because it lives within them.
If you want to find your soul mate do not start looking for it outwardly. Instead, work with the light and your soul mate will come to you, because it will be attracted by the light it sees glowing in you. You do not know where your soul mate is? But it knows where you are. All you need do is wait for it inwardly. It will come."

Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov

If you wish to visit Prosveta's site, or consult the many titles by Omraam Mikhael Aivanhov go to http://www.prosveta-usa.com.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Garyzs on Monday, August 14, 2000 - 04:41 pm:

I think online romance is a reality. One must be very very careful - it is easy to fall "in love" with an "image." Your imagination takes over and you see what you want to see. I know of a few marriages that have come from online. I also know of heartache that online attractions can bring. To take an attraction from online to the telephone to a "meeting" is a risky thing - but, what relationship isn't? To set up a meeting with a "virtual" stranger and disregard all that can go wrong is foolish. Be smart. Don't rush into anything until you feel safe and comfortable. Although it goes against many people's natures, checking up on someone should not be ruled out. "Not married," does not always mean what it says. There are a lot of lonely people online and it is easy to make yourself something you are not. The alternatives are "getting out" into the real world and that is risky as well. Bottom-line: you have to be lucky to come across that screen name and find your "soul mate."


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Psychbabe on Wednesday, November 8, 2000 - 10:21 am:

"Those men or women who have found their soul mate, in other words their complementary principle, feel they meet this principle everywhere, in all creatures. They love all men and all women on earth, they love them spiritually and they are happy because their soul mate has brought them fulfilment. They no longer feel this void forcing them continuously to look for ways to fill the emptiness. They feel that every encounter contributes to their wealth. Indeed, when you have attained inner fulfilment you find the other principle in all creatures. This is an indescribable and unexplainable experience. Only those who have had this experience can truly understand it. But the road to such fulfilment is long and arduous. Constant suffering and disappointment, always looking for an ideal partner, always unsuccessful. Each time you say to yourself: ‘Ah, great, this is the one.’ And then some time later you realize it was not. Well, then it could be someone else! And so it goes on until you realize you can only find these partners inside you. And when you have found them within, you find them everywhere outside.
However, understand me well. I do not advise against or condemn physical union. All I am saying is that if you really want to find fulfilment on the physical plane, you must first achieve the union of the two principles within."

Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov


If you wish to visit Prosveta's site, or consult the many titles by Omraam Mikhael Aivanhov go to http://www.prosveta-usa.com.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By BoomerBabe on Saturday, February 3, 2001 - 04:22 am:

visit Boomers International Singles community..
Log in ID and Password required ..

Coming soon!!
http://boomersint.org/discus/beta/singles/

http://boomersint.org/singles.htm

Boomers Singles Club at Yahoo.

http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/boomersloveconnection


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Wednesday, April 25, 2001 - 10:42 am:

every body wants to know if love on line is true.HOW? WHEN?
Is it possible to love without knowing every thing about your lover?.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By psychbabe on Wednesday, April 25, 2001 - 05:39 pm:

It is more than possible. It happens all the time. You think that you are in love with the person even when you do not have a real 'physical contact' or even his or her 'real' name or 'real' person right infront of you. It happens especially when each of you are communicating and exchanging the 'synergies' that are full of feelings of 'bonding', 'vibrant', 'exhilarating',
'excitment', 'coherent' and 'compatibility'.

Love online can happen when one see someone's picture. This can be a real emotional feeling that play havoc in one's vunerlable moment or time of his or her life. It can trigger the imagination and strong feeling toward the object (photograph, picture etc).

Sometimes one is more receptive than other.
Sometimes one is stronger and process the ability to control feeling or subdue it better than other.

At time, there will be a rejection from one of the partners in a relationship and a big disappointment and a feeling of rejection.

Whenever you are in love, either it is online just as well as it is happening offline. How many times do you know someone offline and not really know the truth about the person?

Many times, a couple can experience 'union of spirits and souls'!!!!!

Love online can turn out to be a real life bliss if and when the couple meet and discover that they are just as compatible off-line as well as on-line.

Best wishes in your love..


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By psychbabe on Wednesday, April 25, 2001 - 06:40 pm:

How and When to find out if love on line is true?

Only you will be the one to tell How and When you are going to fall in love with someone online (or offline).

WHEN you experience it you will know the HOW and WHY.

You can resist all you want but in the end, it is a path in your Destiny.

It may last forever or it may not....

Just enjoy the journey while it lasts.

Peace, Love and Light


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Wednesday, April 25, 2001 - 06:43 pm:

Risk in Love (Poem)
by Sadia

There is a risk involved in everything
Every time you share a smile
Every time you shed a tear
You are opening yourself up to hurt
Some people tread slowly through life,
Avoiding the closeness risk brings,
Sidestepping the things they can't understand
Turning away from those who care too much-
Those who care stay too long,
Those who hold too tightly.
There is never an easy way to love
You cannot approach it cautiously
It will not wait for you to arm yourself.
It does not care if you turn away
It is everywhere, it is everything.
Love is the greatest of all risks.
It is not reliable, it is not cautious,
It is not sympathetic
It is unprejudiced and unmerciful.
It strikes the strongest of mind,
And brings them to their knees in one blow.
Even in the best of times, love hurts.
It hurts to need, it hurts to belong,
It hurts to be the other part of someone else,
Without either of your consent.

But, from the moment it overtakes you,
It hurts worse to be all alone.

The risk of love never depletes;
It grows stronger and more dangerous with time.
But, it's in the total surrender of all defense,
That we, no matter weak or strong,
No matter willing or captive,
No matter what, we truly experience love.
Despite the many things love is not,
Outweighing it all are the things that love is.
Love is surrender without a loss.
It is a gift without the cost.
It consumes your every thought and desire,
Every breath you take.
It is the fire that fuels you
To do more than pass through life;
It urges you, instead, to live.
No matter the outcome, having felt love,
You will never be the same.


It may scar your heart and soul
And leave you only memories of forever.
Or, it may cause every day of your life
To feel like there is no need for tomorrow.
But, love is worth it. It is worth the risk...
For in all of life,
Love is truly the only risk worth taking.

**** But,
Who has the strenght of taking this risk .................?
You will never be the same.
RISK

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out to another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing and is nothing.
He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he cannot learn, feel, change, grow, or live.
Chained by his certitudes, he is slave; he has forfeited his freedom.
Only a person who risks is free.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Thursday, May 3, 2001 - 10:15 am:

how can you tell if someone really loves you?


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Pete W. on Tuesday, May 22, 2001 - 02:24 am:

In a relationship, it's commitment. That's the only true test.

Staying with someone through thick and thin. Overlooking the other's many inconsistencies, promises not kept, and failures . . . as a person, a partner, or parent. We are all very fallable creatures. Time tells all though. But if you are looking for immediate gratification, don't look for it in true love for that takes a lifetime together to build.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By jeri on Thursday, May 24, 2001 - 03:49 pm:

More questions and answers on our site:

http://boomersint.com/singles/loveonline2.htm
http://boomersint.com/singles/loveonline3.htm

Enjoy
Jeri


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By boomersint on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 09:25 pm:

http://boomersinternational.com/singles/loveonline2.htm

Sorry the other site is down:

Enjoy
Jeri


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Tuesday, June 26, 2001 - 02:46 pm:

Looking for that special someone? I am a TV Producer that works with a major TV network. We are looking for a great lost love story. We would be interested in hearing or reading your story. Please send an email to TV_Producers@yahoo.com and let us know how you feel. We might just change your life.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Tuesday, June 26, 2001 - 11:43 pm:

What are you going to do for me? Brad Pitt is married to that Friends' Girl. Guy Richie has Madonna... Richard Gere is getting deeper into spiritual stuffs....
Oh well, I have this cutie in Hollywood but he is so young, sometimes I wanna smack him upside down.
You have someone that's just right for me? lol..


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Psychbabe2001 on Sunday, November 4, 2001 - 06:19 am:

To ALL Internet On Line Friends - Beware.
There is a Personality Disorder which effects many individuals. The disorder is called Narcissism Personality Disorder. These men and women use the internet to hunt their prey.

Many of us become their victims, without truly understanding at first why they had to lie to us and many other in their lives.

Thanks to a book and web sites by Dr Sam Vaknin Ph.D, we learned so much about these men and women. We soon also realise that all our helping for them has been futile.

Through learning and understanding, we finally have reach a point of empathy and sympathy for these men and women who betray us. We also learned that we cannot help them, because they do not want our help. Many of us have gone out of our way to help them and are hurt emotionally by
their behaviors and actions.

Most Narcissists live their lives, without knowing that their behaviors and actions. They thrive on using their projection onto others
Their unfaithfullness in a marriage or relationship destroy relationships and others that love them.

They are trapped in a body of grown person but with a mind and a psyche of a small child.
They are hiding in a shell of themselves who are unable to love. They came from having narcissistic parents or narcissistic mothers.

Boomers International will present a new section in our Psychology area that will devote to NPD with help and guidance from Dr. Sam Vaknin.

Please come back and visit and check us out.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Sunday, November 4, 2001 - 12:24 pm:

Where can I find a survey of 'first years' boomers in relation to their life (and life experiences)?

I met the love of my life after being divorced two years. The relationship ended 'gradually, casually', after several years, I believe, due to my financial situation.

I've tried to live without 'a soul mate' though believe it's unhealthy. I think that 'eventually' most of us need to continue the search, casually.

I'm forming an entrepreneur club in metro Los Angeles hoping to draw 'early' boomers for mutual support in finding income opportunities. See:

http://1funbiz.com/Los_Angeles_California/entrepreneur_clubs.htm


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By boomersint on Sunday, November 4, 2001 - 02:58 pm:

Your web site did not show up.
Please email us directly and we will reply to you.
boomersint@aol.com

Peace, Love and Light
Boomers International


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Sunday, November 4, 2001 - 07:57 pm:

Corrected limk:

www.1funbiz.com/Los_Angeles_California/entrepreneur_clubs.htm


www.1funbiz.com

THX & God Bless!


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Psychbabe2001 on Monday, November 5, 2001 - 02:04 am:

Narcissism IS a dream state. The narcissist is totally detached from his (human) milieu. Devoid of empathy and obsessively centred on the procurement of narcissistic supply (adulation, admiration, etc.) - the narcissist is unable to regard others as three dimensional beings with their own needs and rights. This mental picture of narcissism can easily serve as a good description of the dream state where other people are mere representations, or symbols, in a hermeneutically sealed thought system. Both narcissism and dreaming are AUTISTIC states of mind with severe cognitive and emotional distortions. By extension, one can talk about "narcissistic cultures" as "dream cultures" doomed to a rude awakening. It is interesting to note that most narcissists .. have a very poor dream-life and dreamscape. They remember nothing of their dreams and are rarely, if ever, motivated by insights contained in them.

Dr. Sam Vaknin -
from 'The Metaphores Of The Mind III'


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Psychbabe2001 on Sunday, November 11, 2001 - 08:28 pm:

"Love is an exchange. And an exchange between two beings does not necessarily imply a contact on the physical plane; people can make exchanges at a distance, through a look, a thought, some words, without touching each other. And it is not essential, either, that we exchange only with human beings. That is why, if you have not yet found men or women who inspired you sufficiently to make friends with them, you can exchange with celestial creatures - these beautiful, pure and luminous entities - and in doing so you will feel yourself opening up. So instead of wanting to embrace a man or a woman, why not prefer to embrace the sun or the stars? You will say, `What? Love the sun and stars instead of loving a man or a woman? Prefer to embrace them? But that is insane!' No, it is only you who are narrow-minded and ignorant, and through that narrowness and ignorance, you deprive yourself of the true happiness of loving."

Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 03:59 pm:

That post about the man that 'didnt show, didn't call' seemed to fit the NPD to the tee but that poor young woman, she fell for him hard, hooks, sinks and lines!!
Have a feeling that this guy I knew is afflicted with NPD - he doesn't work but I caught his lies that he owns his own business.

Cant wait to read your article.. Will keep coming back to check for it.
"Narcissism Personality Disorder. These men and women use the internet to hunt their prey."


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By LA_Cruiser on Thursday, November 22, 2001 - 12:55 am:

"--These men and women use the internet to hunt their prey."

--That's ONE way of looking at it (99.99%) Thank God I'm sincirely ONlY looking for that 'one-in-a-million' and accept the fact that the odds are that I WOUN'T find her!

imhere@prontomail.com


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Psychebabe2001 on Tuesday, January 8, 2002 - 05:31 am:

"Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited"
by: Dr. Sam Vaknin

http://boomersint.org/NPD/introduction.html

Peace, Love & Light,
~ psyche ~


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Saturday, January 12, 2002 - 06:16 pm:

Who Loves Ya Babe???


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Sunday, January 20, 2002 - 08:55 pm:

How can I tell you how much I love you?

How, can I tell you of my love?
Strong as the eagle, soft as the dove,
Patient as the pine tree that stands in the sun
and whispers to the wind...

'You are the one!'

Indian Love Poem


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Monday, January 21, 2002 - 06:05 pm:

YEAH? RIGHT?? LOL ROTFMAOL


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By psychbabe2001 on Tuesday, January 22, 2002 - 03:23 pm:

We all love ourselves. That seems to be such an instinctively true statement that we do not bother to examine it more thoroughly. In our daily lives – in love, in business, in other areas of life – we act on this premise. Yet, upon closer inspection, it looks shakier.*

* Excerpts from:

THE SOUL OF A NARCISSIST
THE STATE OF THE ART
The introduction...

http://boomersint.org/NPD/boommsla.htm
by: Dr. Sam Vaknin

Peace, Love & Light,
~ psyche ~


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Silkie In Oregon on Sunday, January 27, 2002 - 08:23 pm:

Thank you for the articles about NARCISSIST, they are potent and so real. I have met a few people online, both men and women who are sooooo NARCISSTIC and they will never, ever admit it... They blamed OTHERS for their problems always.
Been there, done that.
S.I.O


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Monday, January 28, 2002 - 10:56 pm:

Some NARCISSIST and NARCISSTIC people are about 'I, I, I, I, MINE, MINE, MINE, My, My, My.. my kids, my house, myself, my boyfriend, my girlfriend, my wife, my husband, My PICTURES, 100 of them... ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, LOOK AT ME..
I AM DARN Good Lookin.... :)


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Monday, January 28, 2002 - 10:59 pm:

LOL ROTFMAO lol


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Thursday, February 7, 2002 - 06:14 pm:

HAHA! ROTFLMAO!!!!


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Friday, February 8, 2002 - 02:08 am:

It is easy to figure out WHO we are talking about here!!! HAHAHA!!!! More! More !!!!!!


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By ~psychbabe~ on Friday, February 8, 2002 - 10:02 am:

>>>>>Most Narcissists live their lives, without knowing that their behaviors and actions. They thrive on using their projection onto others
Their unfaithfullness in a marriage or relationship destroy relationships and others that love them. <<<<<

Narcistists are habitual liars and they will never reveal anything real about themselves!
They also accumulated lots of shadows that follow them around... Unfortunately, these shadows are the results of the relationships born out of duplicities.

Peace, Love and Light,
~psychbabe~


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Friday, February 8, 2002 - 10:57 am:

"A person's higher nature and lower nature manifest themselves most clearly when he or she has been humiliated or insulted. 'Teach him a lesson; get your own back!' This is the lower nature talking. The higher nature on the other hand says: 'Don't worry, it's not that bad. Instead of brooding and wanting revenge, try to use this muddy quagmire and set about transforming it. You are an alchemist and you will turn it into gold.' And if you listen to this voice you will launch yourself into a fantastic work of transformation and you elevate yourself. Your higher nature tells you: 'Why sit there feeling sorry for yourself when you are being given this incredible opportunity to set to work? You should thank Heaven for sending this person to you and giving you the opportunity to improve yourself, to surpass yourself. Don't sit there moaning.' The true disciple does not listen to the advice given by his lower nature, which keeps him weak, drowning in sentimentality. The true disciple follows the advice of his higher nature because he wants to become strong."

Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Psychebabe2001 on Friday, February 8, 2002 - 12:32 pm:

I am glad to see that this board is active again..
...

According to the legend of Narcissus, this Greek boy fell in love with his own reflection in a pond. Presumably, this amply sums up the nature of his namesakes: "narcissists". The mythological Narcissus was punished by the nymph Echo. How apt. Narcissists are punished by echoes and reflections of their problematic personalities up to this very day.

They are said to be in love with themselves.

But this is a fallacy. Narcissus is not in love with HIMSELF. He is in love with his REFLECTION.
(Hence he/she has many SHADOWS!!)

There is a major difference between "True" Self and reflected-self.

Loving your true self is a healthy, adaptive and functional quality.

Loving a reflection has two major drawbacks. One is the dependence on the very existence and availability of a reflection to produce the emotion of self-love.

http://boomersint.org/NPD/boommsla.htm

*Dependency is another subject coming in the near future... Co-Dependency.. Love With A Condition..


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Friday, February 8, 2002 - 06:53 pm:

UMMMMMMmmm Does anyone know who these messages are for? Seems someone has a major problem of letting go. Remember you can not hold onto someone that does not want to be held. I thought this place was for mature adults. I think someone seems to be acting rather childish. Oh!!!! I got it, this is a joke. HAHHAA

LOL ROTFLMAO


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Psychbabe2001 on Saturday, February 9, 2002 - 08:12 am:

An all-pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or in behaviour), a need for admiration and a marked lack of empathy which starts at early adulthood and is present in a variety of contexts.

At least 5 of the following should be present for a person to be diagnosed as suffering from NPD:

* Possesses a grandiose sense of self-importance (for example: exaggerates his achievements and his talents, expects his superiority to be recognised without having the commensurate skills or achievements);
* Pre-occupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance and beauty or of ideal love;
* Believes that he is unique and special and that only high status and special people (or institutions) could understand him (or that it is only with such people and institutions that it is worth his while to be associated with);
* Demands excessive and exceptional admiration;
* Feels that he is deserving of exceptionally good treatment, automatic obeisance of his (usually unrealistic) expectations;
* Exploitative in his interpersonal relationships, uses others to achieve his goals;
* Lacks empathy: is disinterested in other people's needs and emotions and does not identify with them;
* Envies others or believes that others envy him; Displays arrogance and haughtiness.

Dr Sam Vaknin Ph.D

http://boomersint.org/NPD/boommsla.htm


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Psychbabe2001 on Sunday, February 10, 2002 - 02:22 am:

Be careful not to confuse momentary satisfaction with happiness. You cannot, in other words, say you are happy because you have got what you wanted, be it success, material benefits, or even the love of a man or a woman. Why? Because you can never be sure it will last. True happiness is a lasting state and for it to last you must understand and feel things correctly. This is why the initiates say that true happiness is a state of consciousness, which is determined by the thoughts with which we feed our intellect and by the feelings with which we feed our heart. Otherwise, what kind of happiness can we expect if the intellect and the heart are battlefields where chaotic and destructive thoughts and feelings face each other in battle. It is wisdom and love, in other words the light of the intellect and the warmth of the heart, that create harmony, equilibrium and constructiveness. This is true happiness."

Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Psychbabe2001 on Sunday, February 10, 2002 - 02:23 am:

"Human beings learn through experience and above all they learn from unhappy experiences. Not one of us is spared such experiences and the most important work we can undertake is to stop and draw lessons from every experience in our everyday lives. We will then be able to progress much further along the path of wisdom and equilibrium. How many of us are capable, however, of appreciating these lessons and making the most of them? Some people have the same unhappy experiences over and over and they complain, but still they learn nothing and do nothing to expel the noise and chaos that reign within. Of course they suffer and of course they are not proud of being in this situation, but they are used to living their lives like this and have resigned themselves to it. Well now is the time for them to understand that they must extricate themselves from this state. And in order to do so, every day they must meditate on harmony, love it, aspire to it, establish it within them, in every movement, in every word and in every look."

Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Psychbabe2001 on Sunday, February 10, 2002 - 03:04 pm:

DESCANSOS

Descansos are little crosses seen along the highway and they usually represent
a death. A place where someone's life has been taken. Death is not just about dying physically, it can be about spiritual death also.

Descansos are symbols that mark death. Women have died a thousand deaths before they reach twenty. They have gone in wrong directions or have seen their hopes and dreams cut off. They have been raped, abused or worst, denied their rage. To make a Descansos is to mark the deaths that have taken place in our lives. This can represent all the roads not taken and the ambushes and betrayals along those roads.

Women who have been tortured develop a special kind of perception that has an uncanny depth. If these women clung to consciousness, they experience a deep soul life, and a fierce belief in themselves regardless of occasional ego-wavering.

To make a Descansos is to look at your life and mark where death has occurred. Where are our crosses? Where are the places that must be remembered or blessed? Be gentle with yourself and make the Descansos, the resting places for the aspects
of yourself that were on their way to somewhere but never arrived. Mark the dark times, and make love notes to your suffering. There is a lot said for pinning things to the earth, so they don't follow us around. There is a lot said for laying things to rest.

~AUTHOR UNKNOWN~


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Tuesday, February 12, 2002 - 04:26 pm:

Dear My Sweets,

I can't help but think of you every moment of the day. I dream about a time when we don't have to say good-bye. Suddenly I know why there are poets, and painters, and those who are at peace with the world. Please E-mail very soon.

I love you,
You know who I am....


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Wednesday, February 13, 2002 - 01:48 am:

Lvoe you 2, CU later this week.
Hugs* & Kisses*


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Psychbabe2001 on Wednesday, February 13, 2002 - 01:59 pm:

"All our activities are determined by the goal we seek to achieve and by the means we use to achieve it. Unfortunately human beings have an appalling tendency to get their goals and means out of sync. They refuse to recognize they are using their highest faculties to achieve the most mundane goals. They are ready to devote what is best in them - their intelligence, their integrity and their purity - to satisfy their lowest appetites. And they will even ask the Lord to step in and help them in their foolishness and goings-on. And do you think they realize what they are doing? Not a bit of it! They have never stopped to ask themselves: 'What is it I'm trying to achieve? What means am I using to do so?' No, it takes a teacher to say to them: 'Just look at what you are doing. These goals of yours are basically hell, and what means are you using to reach hell? The Lord, the angels, science, art, religion. You are using all that is marvellous and wonderful to end up in hell.'*"

Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov

*'Or the place where you have no intention to be..'


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Wednesday, February 13, 2002 - 05:54 pm:

>>>> It is easy to figure out WHO we are talking about here!!! HAHAHA!!!! More! More !!!!!!

Peeka BOOOOOO!!!!
ROTFLOL MAOL


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Saturday, February 16, 2002 - 12:24 pm:

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.
- Kahlil Gibran, 'The Vision'


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By 4MissGoody2Shoes on Saturday, February 16, 2002 - 07:41 pm:

Ten Truths to Transform Your Life

Sarah Ban Breathnach expands on ten simple truths that can start to transform your life now. Which one do you react most strongly to? Explore it further in your Online Journal.

1. Gratitude is the most transformative force in the cosmos, because gratitude is love. Sarah says, "When our hearts our broken, we don't think we have much to be thankful for. We don't have to be smiling when we say 'Thank you.'"
2. Your happiness increases the happiness of everyone who knows you. "We have so much. All we have is all we need. All we need is the awareness of how blessed we really are."
3. Whether we live passionately or not is a choice we make. When writers write, the most important emotion is conveyed between the lines. "I want to live in between the lines, where the depth is."
4. Those who live passionately teach us how to love. Those who love passionately teach us how to live.
5. Big changes come with small choices. "Little changes [and] little choices add up to be revolutionary changes in your life."
6. The more risks you take, the luckier you become.
7. Nothing hurts you more than your expectations. "If you trust life and learn to embrace it and try not to control everything, then life can be more wondrous than you thought it would be."
8. Our relationships with others are only as emotionally healthy, happy, holy and content as our relationships with ourselves.
9. The only wound your soul never recovers from is regret. "What I know for sure is that we don't have the luxury of regret any more. The past only asks to be remembered."
10. Cherish each morning and give thanks for each evening. "I think the greatest gift September 11 can give us would be that we learn to cherish our imperfect lives."

http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/tows_past_20011121_c.jhtml


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Monday, February 18, 2002 - 06:56 am:

Welcome to the new dating site to meet Ukrainian single women for marriage, friendship.
We offer FREE correspondence plus many additional services:
flowers delivery, translations, horoscope, virtual cards, digital photo, video, letters courier delivery.
http://slavuta.unity.net


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Monday, February 18, 2002 - 02:37 pm:

FREEBIRD

by Lynyrd Skynyrd


If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be travelling on, now,
'Cause there's too many places I've got to see.

But, if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I can't change.


Bye, bye, its been a sweet love.
Though this feeling I can't change.
But please don't take it badly,
'Cause Lord knows I'm to blame.
But, if I stayed here with you girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you'll never change.
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I can't change.
Lord help me, I can't change.

Always~


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Monday, April 1, 2002 - 07:29 pm:

LOVE ONLINE??? One can only really hope for the best...but I know what the odds are from prior experience.
It is very difficult to get to know someone who lives far away, emails and online chats are only one dimensional..how do you say something, how it's being interpreted, words mean different things to different people, whether it's said with a smile on your face, or if it's a joke, etc .. etc..and if they are based upon those emails and online chats.. and a few phone calls... The reality is when you meet a few times, sometimes it is not as you expected. But if the person you are in love online with.. are just as the exact same one that you have really dreamt of.. then you're asking him or her to relocate, quite their job, leave their family and friends ...move in and see if the relationship is going to work....that is alot to ask someone..probablly too much......
Worst yet, it could be a horrow story for the ending...... He or she turns out to be a FAKE!!


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Monday, May 27, 2002 - 10:11 pm:

WHO'S CRYING NOW

Journey
Written by: S. Perry/J. Cain)

It's been a mystery, and still they try to see
Why somethin' good can hurt so bad
Caught on a one-way street, the taste of bittersweet
Love will survive somehow, some way

*One love feeds the fire
One heart burns desire
I wonder, who's cryin' now
Two hearts born to run
Who'll be the lonely one
I wonder, who's cryin' now*

So many stormy nights, so many wrong or rights
Neither could change their headstrong ways
And in a lover's rage, they tore another page
The fightin' is worth
The love they save...

*CHORUS*


Only so many tears you can cry
'Til the heartache is over
And now you can say your love
Will never die


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Monday, June 3, 2002 - 04:21 pm:

Maybe we are meant to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.


Maybe when the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.


Maybe the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.


Maybe it is true that we don't know what we have got until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.


Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but if it does not, be content it grew in yours.


It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.


Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.


There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real.


Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.


May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.


Always put yourself in others shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.


Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.


Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.
The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you cant go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.


When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you are the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By PukaShell on Friday, June 7, 2002 - 06:22 pm:

Online Personals Becoming 'Killer App' of Internet
Fri Jun 7, 3:28 PM ET
By Andrea Orr

PALO ALTO, Calif. (Reuters) - Katie Mitic did not meet her husband online, but she might have looked a little harder if she had known of all the people who used the Internet to find soul mates living thousands of miles away.


Five years ago when Mitic was using an Internet dating service to meet people in the San Francisco Bay Area, her future husband was doing the same thing -- in Hong Kong.

It was not until he relocated to California that the two had a chance meeting while looking for office space.

But Mitic, who now works as general manager at Yahoo! Inc.'s fast-growing personals business, uses her own story to illustrate how much the Internet can expand a person's dating circle -- and also how it might expand Yahoo's revenue.

She says her staff regularly hears back -- and sometimes receives wedding invitations -- from delighted customers who used Yahoo Personals to meet find a mate who lived halfway around the globe -- or just in the apartment down the hall.

But these days it is not just happy couples who are singing the praises of online personals. A long list of companies like Yahoo, the industry leader Match.com, as well as others specializing in Jewish singles, gay singles and Ivy League singles, say the business is enjoying phenomenal growth, year after year, with no sign of slowing down.

"It is definitely not a mature business yet," said Gail Laguna, a spokeswoman for MatchNet.com, which runs eight online dating services and saw membership jump from five million at the end of last year to six million just three months later.

If once upon a time only the desperate used dating services, technology and demographics seem to have brought a massive cultural shift.

A NUMBERS GAME

An abundance of success stories from people who found a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a fling or a spouse online has persuaded many more to give online personals a try. And now that the generation of young adults that grew up with the Internet is coming of dating age, they are taking to instant messaging (news - web sites) to connect with strangers the way their parents used to gravitate to singles bars.

Most online dating services say the under 30 age group is its fastest growing segment and that use is especially strong among people under 25. But these services have members in all demographics, including seniors.

If dating is just a numbers game, Yahoo's Mitic suggests the vast size of the Yahoo community -- 237 million visitors worldwide -- as well as the technology that lets people sort available singles by eye color, hair color, political views and astrological sign, undoubtedly improves the odds that they will find what they are looking for.

Although the company has not gone so far as to say its personals business has become the elusive "killer app" that is serving to drive traffic to its site, the business is enjoying a rapidly rising profile within the company.

In April when Yahoo reported its quarterly results, Chief Executive Terry Semel singled out Yahoo Personals as a point of strength that was helping to offset so many other struggling divisions.

Although Yahoo has offered personals on its site for five years, it was not until last year when it added fees, that it discovered the money-making potential of matchmaking.

Yahoo does not break out results for its own personals business, but estimates that the size of the online personals industry will double this year to a market size of more than $250 million.

Since that figure assumes that just one percent of single people in North America are currently using the Internet to find dates, it suggests many more years of strong expansion before growth starts to level off.

"One of the ways we like to measure our success is by the happiness of our users," says Mitic. Yahoo says it is impossible to calculate a rate of success since people have different goals and different time frames.

POSTINGS FROM SAUDI ARABIA, AFGHANISTAN (news - web sites)

Still, with millions of people trying online dating and only anecdotal stories of success, skeptics abound. At least as common as the people who say they found a mate are those who found people used the Internet to lie about their age, their income and their looks.

Jill Kelleher, who operates the offline matchmaking service Kelleher and Associates in San Francisco, says many customers come to her after failing at the online dating game. Kelleher thinks the sheer volume of members can encourage serial dating rather than serious relationships.

"It's kind of like a kid in a candy store," said Kelleher, "There's always another one."

Nonetheless, Kelleher says she has used online personals to look for matches for clients living in remote areas. She also thinks services like Match.com have worked wonders in removing the stigma of all kinds of matchmaking, online and off.

Like Yahoo, Match.com, which is jointly owned by Ticketmaster Inc and USA Interactive , is working to enhance its technology and expand geographically. One new feature in the works is a keyword search that would let users locate others with similar interests, like mountain biking or music.

One interest that appears to be universal is the Internet itself. In almost any culture, Match.com says it finds people who are looking for love, and open to finding it online.

"Its become a booming business in France and all the major European countries and in Latin America," Match.com President Tim Sullivan, said of the company's forays into international markets. "I think there are certainly cultural differences but this is one area I've been a bit surprised by."

Perhaps most surprising are some of the Match.com members residing in countries known for their conservative dating rituals. A recent search of the site yielded several postings from Iran (all men), three from Saudi Arabia and even one from Afghanistan, although he identified himself as a U.S. Navy (news - web sites) pilot.

**** My take on this is this: I have heard from many people that they wasted so much time on this online dating craps. But then, who knows, some people are finicky with picking their mates to begin with. Adding to that.. they are risking their all with someone they haven't even seen face to face ... what do they expect??

I also have heard that people meet each other online and they leave their prespective real life mates to be with each other.. I wonder anybody heard about any stories and would online love last????


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Thursday, June 20, 2002 - 04:08 pm:

"False friends are like our shadow, keeping close to us while we walk in the sunshine, but leaving us when we cross into the shade."

This goes for online friends as well as offline friends !!!


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Saturday, August 17, 2002 - 02:22 am:

"Online dating lends itself to more fantasy relationships. You don't really know if he's married, if he's living with someone. So you have to be really strict."
—Sherrie Schneider,
author
Learning 'The Rules' of cyber romance

LOS ANGELES, California (Reuters) -- You've used it for shopping, playing solitaire, checking your horoscope, booking a hotel room and diagnosing that mysterious rash.

So why can't you find Mr. Right in cyberspace?

Maybe it's because you are breaking "The Rules."

Seven years after urging millions of women to adopt a play-hard-to-get, 1950s-style strategy to catch and marry a man, the authors of "The Rules" have come up with some new female strictures for the world of online dating.

For when it comes to online dating, men, according to Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider
"are having a ball. They are laughing all the way to the bank."

"The women are so forward, men are having a party. You cannot believe the excuses these men are coming up with to juggle four or five women at a time," Fein told Reuters.

"It was starting to become a really bad bar scene. Women are e-mailing with abandon, answering men's ads, meeting a guy, e-mailing him the next day -- making a million mistakes!

"That's why we wrote the book," she said.

http://www.cnn.com/2002/TECH/internet/08/10/cyberdating.rules.reut/index.html


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Tuesday, February 18, 2003 - 08:43 pm:

yeah the rule is 'no, no, no' LOL


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By nancy on Monday, March 10, 2003 - 10:36 am:

I'm just going to do what I do. If'HE' shows up, then that would be great. No more games, addictions, etc.
I'm just going to be me.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Monday, March 10, 2003 - 09:33 pm:

Things aren't always what they seem and
Things Happen For A Reason

http://www.byregion.net/rumi/


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Tuesday, March 11, 2003 - 01:16 pm:

"How do I know if he or she is really telling me the truth about his/her age, marital status, job, children, life situation? etc.. etc..

With so many people that you met on the internet, don't be surprise that people are asking the same question days after days....
Don't be surprise to hear horrible stories ...
Beside a heart rendering one!!!

It is difficult to tell if the person you are dealing with on the "net" is, in fact, the person they are purporting to be especially if you are:

1) A NEWIE on the internet
2) On the Rebound !!!!
3) Too trusting of other people..
4) Too vulnable..

To be continued...


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By YYDD on Tuesday, April 1, 2003 - 03:36 pm:

Someone mentioned Childish here...

Question: Please Tell Us The Difference Between... "childlike" and "childish."

Sri Chinmoy: "Childish" means that a grown-up person is doing something superficially, unnaturally and very cleverly. A childish man has a destructive propensity, an unnatural quality that only wants to break things. The childish quality is found in someone who is not actually himself, who does things in a very immature, irresponsible way. A childish human being knows in a mental way what a proper thought is, but he will not use the mental truth. He will only frustrate the world by acting like a juggler. There is no reality in what he does. He knows that he is not showing the real thing to the world, but he is trying to prove to the world that it is real. A childish person knows that what he is saying and doing is all false, but in spite of knowing that, he is trying to fool the world. 93

But the childlike quality is constructive, real and flower-like. The flower of the childlike quality blossoms petal by petal, not all of a sudden. A child grows up and matures. But if he is an immortal child then he is constantly blossoming like a flower. If one is childlike, then he is blossoming at every second. He looks at the sun and light enters into his seed-reality. Then, petal by petal, he grows into a flower and becomes more perfect in his worship of God. A childlike heart is pure. If someone has this heart, it illumines the creation in the world around and within himself. A childlike person does something not because he knows on the mental plane that it is true, but because spontaneously something is urging him to do it. But a childish person will create something that he himself has no faith in, and then he will try to convince the whole world to have faith in it. 94

In your case, your enemies will say that you have childish qualities while your friends will say that you have childlike qualities. I am your friend, so I wish to say that you have all childlike qualities. 95


Sri Chinmoy


http://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/perfection-head-world/19


smiling


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By psychbabe2001 on Wednesday, April 23, 2003 - 02:31 pm:

WHEN WE NEED LOVE THE MOST

A university instructor posed a riddle to her graduate education class. "What has four legs and leaves?" she asked, hoping the students
would realize that by considering alternative meanings to the words "legs" and "leaves" that they could arrive at the solution -- a table.

However, one woman unexpectedly answered, "My last two boyfriends."
Maybe you can relate.

People will leave relationships for any number of reasons and
sometimes they should, for not every friendship has a healthy future.
Some well-intentioned people come together in heat and passion and all that is left of the union when the fire goes out is a pile of
ashes. Others bring along so many destructive problems and behaviors that a happy relationship has no chance of long-term survival.

But what about when friends, lovers or family bolt from the relationship at just the wrong time? After all, those we want to love
are not always "lovable" or easy to get along with! Is a temporary lapse into craziness reason enough to run?

Author John Gray sometimes tells about a young mother who asked her visiting brother to get her some pain pills. He forgot and, when her
husband returned home, she was upset and in pain -- more than a bit crazy. He experienced her anger as a personal assault and exploded in
defense. They exchanged harsh words and he headed for the door.

His wife said, "Stop, don't leave. This is when I need you the most!
I'm in pain. I've had no sleep. Please listen. You are a fair-weather friend. If I'm sweet, you're okay; but if I'm not, out you go!" And
then tearfully, and more subdued, she said, "I'm in pain. I have nothing to give. Please hold me. Don't speak...just hold me." He held her and neither spoke -- until she thanked him for being there.

It is easy to love those who are at their best. But it is during those times we are unlovable that we may need love the most. And what a beautiful thing when we get it. And even more beautiful when we find the grace to give it.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By kosmosisus on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 09:24 pm:

Where there is great love,
there are always miracles
Willa Sibert Cather

US author, winner of the Pulitzer Prize, 1873-1947


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Tuesday, April 29, 2003 - 09:42 pm:

"We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to
see an imperfect person perfectly."

- Sam Keen, To Love and Be Loved


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Wednesday, May 7, 2003 - 12:18 am:

"Can we, or should we continue to love a being who, at a given moment, adopts dishonest and unworthy attitudes and behaviour? Many men and women have had to ask themselves this question. Of course, our love for others always produces certain beneficial effects for them on the subtle planes, and ultimately it can influence them. On the other hand, it is not advisable to remain close to someone who has taken a bad direction, and is becoming a public danger. What is important, above all, is to love, to love in purity and in the light. And if you feel that a certain man or woman no longer merits your love, there are so many beings on the earth who do, whether you know them or not! It is essential that you never stop loving, that your spring continues to flow. It does not matter where it flows; what is important is that it flows, and that its water is pure."

Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov

This hits the nail right on my head lol...


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Monday, May 12, 2003 - 02:44 pm:

Do you think that my husband is cheating on me? After dinner, he gets online on the internet every night . He chats with women from all over the world, he said he is helping them with their problems... Pleezeeee "HE" is the problem!!!
He even gets them to show their bodies on their web cams for him .... I know this because he kept some of their pictures on the computer!!!

I am so sick of being a good little wife and puts up with his bull shit. These women don't know that he is married and they are lonely and willing to do anything for him .. Don't be stupid women.. Men who ask women to show their bodies on the web cams are players and they are looking for women online to play with.. They are a bunch of bums and cheaters...


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Monday, May 19, 2003 - 06:02 pm:

Are you sure that it is your husband that's using the internet to download all those photos...

Do you have children living at home? How about your son, if you are a boomer; you are at an age where your children are online and perhaps your son is using the computer and doing all these download.

If you are sure that it is your husband who is doing all these chatting with women and downloading their pictures - why don't you confront him??? Tell him that you are disgusted with it... Let him know, don't keep it all inside of you...

Any man that's cheating on the wife, even if it is online cheating... he is just got to be very unhappy man, bored, he is just plain stinks ....

I wouldn't put up with him...


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Thursday, September 23, 2004 - 01:33 am:

Too fast... and maybe too good... to be true?
By Trish McDermott, VP of Romance, Match.com

Dear Trish,
After months of false starts, I think I’ve found The One. Based on her profile, our emails and phone conversations, she seems perfect for me. There’s just one hitch. I haven't even met her yet and I'm head over heels. Am I nuts?
- Head Over Heels, Orlando

Dear HOHO,
Are you nuts? Maybe. But maybe not. In a January 2004 Match.com survey, of the married people who met on Match.com, 11 percent said they were in love prior to meeting face-to-face — a love-before-first-sight rate more than twice that of married people who didn’t meet online (5 percent). While one out of nine isn’t a huge percentage, it’s high enough for me to steer clear of calling you crazy. You could be one of the 11 percent!

So while you can stop questioning your sanity, you probably shouldn’t stop questioning altogether. Being overly cautious is one thing, throwing caution to the wind is quite another. If you are actually in love with this woman, here are some things you should consider:
It could be the real thing. And if it is, chances are your courtship will be short. That’s because more Match.com couples tend to date for shorter periods before getting married than offline couples. Almost three quarters of Match.com couples who marry do so after dating a year or less compared with only one third of other couples. Be prepared to move quickly, but don’t feel obliged if something doesn’t feel right. Every relationship is different and once you’ve found the perfect match, there’s no need to rush to the altar unless you simply don’t want to wait. But there’s no need to create pressure where none exists. Temper your exuberance with the patient feeling of inevitability. If you’re really in love now, your feelings are unlikely to wane overnight. Resist constant evaluation by remembering that you’ve got all the time in the world to make a final commitment.


It could be premature. While you may be sure, she may not be. At least, not initially. Arrange to meet her as soon as possible, but keep the date casual — coffee or lunch. And don’t push her to return your feelings – or your intensity – from the outset. Allow her time to get used to your early and strong feelings for her, and to let her own feelings develop for you.


It could be unrequited. Love would be much easier if everyone we fell for fell for us. But it doesn’t work that way. So, keep your hopes in check. Don’t go too far ‘round the bend for this woman until you’ve met and gotten to know each other better. Allowing for the possibility that it won’t work out isn’t pessimistic — it’s realistic. And it can help ease the blow if she rebuffs you.


It could be a mistake. There’s an outside chance that you won’t have the necessary chemistry when you actually meet this woman offline. And although quality of character is the attribute that makes us fall in love with someone, even the most compatible personality isn’t strong enough to overcome a lack of sparks. If it’s comfortable, try being friends. That way, you keep this great person in your life — and she might be able to introduce you to some of her girlfriends, women who may be a lot like her but different enough for you to find exactly what you’re looking for.
I can’t stress enough the importance of keeping your feelings to yourself for the near-term, lest you scare her off. While some women might find your instant devotion a turn-on, most think that a reaction so strong so early is a little scary. Because you don’t know her very well, she may interpret your enthusiasm as desperation – or, at the very least, impulsiveness or bad judgment – if you jump in too quickly. She may even think you’re obsessive, and you’ll be hard-pressed to get her to change her mind about that.

Managing your expectations is also crucial. Yes, you’re pretty sure about your feelings, but it’s still early in the game and anything can happen. Here are some tips for keeping yourself on an even keel:
Finding new love is exciting and it’s normal to feel a little giddy. Avoid flying too high by remembering that you haven’t even met her yet and that a physical connection is a vital aspect of a successful relationship.


Get in touch with your feelings. Investigate your other emotions around this development and try to develop a deeper understanding of why you’re feeling the way you are. Get comfortable with your emotions — particularly before you share them with her.


Love is blind, so it’s easy to overlook red flags that could signal deal-breaking flaws. If you feel like she’s perfect, you need to scale back and assess her more accurately. After all, nobody’s perfect, right?
With these cautions and tips in mind, arrange a meeting as soon as you can, HOHO. Go out on a few dates and then re-assess your feelings and the promise of a relationship with her. And definitely let me know how it turns out!

Ask yourself this: Do I have what it takes for a successful online relationship?
Wondering what it takes to find your match? And how to know if she or he is your one true love? Based on resignation survey data, Match.com estimates that more than 200,000 Match.com members met the person they were seeking on the site in 2003 alone. Read their success stories and learn how it’s done at http://success.match.com.

--------------------------------------------------
Trish McDermott, Match.com's vice-president of romance and a founding member of the company, is a respected and sought-after pundit on dating, relating and mating in the new millennium. She calls on 15 years of dating and relationship industry experience as she oversees the love lives of millions of Match.com members. McDermott's philosophy on dating and relationships is simple: "Whether we are young or old, tall or short, rich or poor, famous or unknown, shy or outgoing, we are all uniquely special people with something extraordinary to offer a romantic partner - and fully deserving of deeply committed, passionate and loyal love in return for the love we give…." Learn more about Trish or send her your own question to asktrish@match.com.

Interesting..


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Monday, January 3, 2005 - 06:41 am:

Let it go in 2004.

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was
never intended for your life, then you need to...
LET IT GO!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains...
LET IT GO!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...
LET IT GO! (PLEASE!)

If someone has angered you...
LET IT GO!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge...
LET IT GO!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...
LET IT GO!

If you are holding on to a job that longer meets your needs or talents...
LET IT GO!

If you have a bad attitude....
LET IT GO!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...
LET IT GO!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him....
LET IT GO!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship...
LET IT GO!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves...
LET IT GO!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed...LET IT GO!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it", then you need to...
LET IT GO!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing!
LET IT GO NOW!

Get Right or Get Left...
think about it, then LET IT GO!

Happy New Year 2005


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Saturday, August 20, 2005 - 09:36 pm:

That Narcisstic article is so good.
I read a story about Adult Attention
Deficiency and ADD.
The symthom is very much similar to Narcisstic people.

Just wonder if any of you all experienc this.
The money problems, the absent mind, the non-responsive to other's needs.

;>)

sweetladydee

> we all love ourselves. That seems to be such
> an instinctively true statement that we do not
> bother to examine it more thoroughly.
>
> * Excerpts from:
>

>
> THE SOUL OF A NARCISSIST
> THE STATE OF THE ART
> The introduction...

> http://boomersint.org/NPD/boommsla.htm
> by: Dr. Sam Vaknin


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Thursday, September 22, 2005 - 05:46 am:

So very glad I found this truly great site :-)


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Thursday, September 22, 2005 - 06:24 am:

Your site has made me smile :-)
Thank you! LOVE YOU! HAHAHAH LOVE ONLINE HAHAHAHA


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