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Peace, Love and Light
By Jeri on Tuesday, August 8, 2000 - 02:19 am:
Chat Every Wednesday and Friday Night at 6:00pm PST (9pm EST) at Boomers Single Yahoo Club.
Peace, Love and Light
By yydd on Tuesday, June 11, 2002 - 09:21 pm:
Men: Breaking Up Is Bad Only if Women Do It First
Tue Jun 11, 1:40 PM ET
By Alison McCook
NEW ORLEANS (Reuters Health) - When rating previous breakups, women view the process of ending of the relationship no differently if they are the dumper or the dumpee--but the same is not true with men, new research shows.
According to researchers at Francis Marion University in Florence, South Carolina, men believe there was much more scheming on the part of their partners, less finality in the relationship and less working together during the breakup if they were dumped than if they ended the relationship themselves.
For example, when rating how much scheming went into the breakup, "females don't differ much whether they were the actor or the target," Dr. Mike Jordan told Reuters Health.
"The males, on the other hand--if they're the ones who did it, they thought 'Oh, there was no plotting on my part or anything.' But there was a lot if she broke up with them," he added.
Jordan and his team asked 28 male and 90 female undergraduate college students to report on their last relationship that ended before it lasted 6 months. The students rated the breakups according to certain qualities: how much the couple worked together to decide to end the relationship (collaborativeness), how much plotting occurred on the part of the dumper (scheming), and how much they felt the relationship was truly over at the time of breaking up (finality).
By scorpio33wdf on Friday, July 26, 2002 - 11:38 am:
men can be such snakes! when caught they try to belittle us into thinking WE'RE the WRONG ONES!
By Psychbabe2001 on Sunday, July 28, 2002 - 09:18 pm:
Narcissists Make Lousy Long-Term Lovers: Study
Fri Jul 26, 3:09 PM ET
By Alison McCook
NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Despite the old adage that you must love yourself before you love others, new research shows that too much self-love--or narcissism--can seriously hurt your prospects of having long-term, committed relationships.
But for narcissists, that may not necessarily be a bad thing, lead author Dr. W. Keith Campbell of the University of Georgia in Athens told Reuters Health.
In order to maintain their dominance during romantic relationships, Campbell and his colleagues found that many narcissists tend to resort to game-playing, such as keeping partners uncertain about their commitment, being unfaithful and keeping secrets.
"If you're looking for a committed relationship, it's usually a mistake" to pair up with a narcissist, Campbell advised.
Narcissists have distinct personality traits, he said, which are often recognizable to others. Importantly, people who are narcissistic have a very high opinion of themselves, deeming themselves to be smarter, more attractive and more dominant than others, the researcher noted.
It is difficult to estimate how many people are narcissistic, Campbell added, because the trait appears as a continuum: many people have certain narcissistic qualities, with some having more than others, he explained. Narcissism also appears slightly more often in men than in women, the researcher said.
Despite the fact that narcissists may not be so fun to have around in the long-term, Campbell added that a short-term fling might be great: narcissists often seek attention from others, and can stretch the spotlight over to their significant others, as well. Furthermore, people with overly high self-esteem constantly seek validation from others, and can be quite charming to procure it, he added.
But eventually, the power-maintaining strategies of narcissists can become frustrating to their partners, who in most cases, will end the relationship, Campbell explained. "People usually figure this out later, and they end the relationship. And think--'why did I date this person?"' he said.
And for narcissists, being broken up with can be just fine, Campbell added: often, they have already been cheating on their partners, and consequently have another person with whom they can link up right away.
Campbell and his colleagues linked narcissism to game-playing through a series of experiments, reported in a recent issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology ( news - web sites).
During the experiments, the researchers questioned between 45 and more than 100 college students about their personalities and relationship styles, as well as those of their partners, both in previous and current relationships.
Campbell's team found that, along with being more prone to game-playing, narcissists tend to not feel companionship and trust during a relationship, and are often pragmatic when dealing with their partners.
Furthermore, narcissists who are inclined to play games with their partners are also less likely to be committed to the relationship, and possibly seek out other relationships on the side.
SOURCE: Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 2002;83:340-354.
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By Psychbabe2001 on Wednesday, July 31, 2002 - 01:55 pm:
Besides, people who are narcissistic have a tendercy to draw out the weaknesses in people who are co-dependence.
Focusing on self-esteem and acceptance, these books will help co-dependents let go of relationships in their lifes that are un-healthy.
By BoomWeb on Monday, August 5, 2002 - 03:17 pm:
New Bullentin Board for Raving and Ranting and Whining LOL...
You can create your own topic there and start the treads.. What are you waiting for?
FUN, FUN, FUN...
By Anonymous on Thursday, April 14, 2005 - 03:36 pm:
Online dating tips
Be honest with yourself about what kind of relationship you want.
Be honest when you post your profile and photos. And watch out for someone who seems to be too good to be true. Trust your instincts.
Write a great profile. Keep it light and friendly, and avoid anything negative-sounding. Never include your last name, e-mail address, home address, phone number, place of work or other identifying information.
Request a photo. And post your own. You'll receive many, many more responses when you do.
Chat by phone before you decide to meet. A call can reveal much about a person's communication and social skills. Only give your phone number when you feel comfortable.
Meet only when you are ready. Meet in a safe place. Always tell someone you trust where you're going and when you'll return. Rather than have your date pick you up at home, provide your own transportation and meet in a public (crowded) place. When the date is over, leave on your own as well.
If you're flying in from another city, don't allow your date to make arrangements for you. Don't disclose your hotel.
Watch for red flags, which include displays of anger, intense frustration or attempts to pressure or control you.
Never do anything you feel unsure about.
By Ryan Lee on Tuesday, September 11, 2007 - 12:34 am: