Internet Honesty !!

Boomers International Board: Singles : Internet Honesty !!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Sunday, October 29, 2000 - 01:38 am:

http://members.tripod.com/~MISTRUST/Chat.html


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Monday, October 30, 2000 - 06:20 pm:

lol haha .. good one ~ ~ i am honest.. wanna see my pic? i am single ~ ~ no, i don't have anyone right now ~ ~ yes, i love you ~ ~ lol


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Saturday, November 4, 2000 - 03:42 pm:

Men online will say anything to get your attention... lol

Common lies:

-I am single.
(when my wife or girlfriend is not around the computer)
-I am divorced.
(when my wife or girlfriend is out or sleeping)
-I am not in a relationship.
(when my wife or girlfriend is out, sleeping or not around this computer)
-I only chat with you and no one else.
(when my other online girlfriends are out, sleeping or not around their computers, sheesh!)
-I am new at this.
(well, only few times here online chatting with you..)
-I am independently wealthy.
(Are you?)
-I am in between jobs.
(Aren't we all?)
-I am retired.
(Aren't we all?)
-I love children.
(As long as they are not around)
-I love animals.
(As long as they are over there)
-I love to cook and clean.
(I love it when you cook, clean, and pick up after me, sheesh!)
-Look is not important.
(Show me your pic)
-Age is not important.
(Show me your pic)
-It is about you.
(Show me more of your pics...)

blah blah blah... lol...


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Sunday, November 5, 2000 - 12:38 pm:

Sounds like you were dumped on. Counseling is available. It appears you have alot of hurt inside of you.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Sunday, November 5, 2000 - 10:26 pm:

It is a warning to unsuspecting women online based on years of observation ....

Don't need counseling personally.. but some of these men and women probably could use some....

blah blah blah lol


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Sunday, November 5, 2000 - 11:17 pm:

Observation and interviews with many women who were duped! Some of these women recovered and went on and found other good men and have happy lifes. There are many good men around both online and offline.... Some are just dubious and having fun with lonely and volunerable women.

Interview method are either by chatting online, telephone conversations or by emails.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Tuesday, November 7, 2000 - 12:03 pm:

The game of romance is much more art than it is science.

When it comes to looking for love online. It is best to be honest about who you are. Although you never get a second chance to make a first impression in 3 dimentional offline world. In an online relationship, you are much more likely to meet someone you will be happy with in the long run if you are completely being honest from the beginning.

What is your purpose of connecting? Are you looking for real love? Companionship? Someone to date or just to play and experiment with meeting people, since you are online for only a short time?

So whatever you want to do, plunge in but keep your eyes opened. There are thousands to literally thousands of people online.

Remember the Golden Rule about treating others the way you want to be treated. If you don't want to be judged only on your looks, don't pick others just on looks. You also have to be open-minded and not judge a book by its cover since meeting people online gives you ONLY small part of his or her story. Wait until you meet him and her in person to get the whole picture!

No need to fall for the first one you met.
Love is a numbers game - increase your odds by connecting and talking to many people. The more you connect with, the more you'll meet and the pickier you can be. You have the power to find people who share your passions, but how do you know he or she who is that most appeals to you is FOR REAL?

Happy Surfing ... Just don't Look For Love in the Wrong places ...


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Tuesday, November 7, 2000 - 02:08 pm:

Have you found it? lol


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Tuesday, November 7, 2000 - 10:45 pm:

Nahhh, forever in total denial state lol!!!


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By psychbabe on Wednesday, November 8, 2000 - 10:20 am:

"Those men or women who have found their soul mate, in other words their complementary principle, feel they meet this principle everywhere, in all creatures. They love all men and all women on earth, they love them spiritually and they are happy because their soul mate has brought them fulfilment. They no longer feel this void forcing them continuously to look for ways to fill the emptiness. They feel that every encounter contributes to their wealth. Indeed, when you have attained inner fulfilment you find the other principle in all creatures. This is an indescribable and unexplainable experience. Only those who have had this experience can truly understand it. But the road to such fulfilment is long and arduous. Constant suffering and disappointment, always looking for an ideal partner, always unsuccessful. Each time you say to yourself: ‘Ah, great, this is the one.’ And then some time later you realize it was not. Well, then it could be someone else! And so it goes on until you realize you can only find these partners inside you. And when you have found them within, you find them everywhere outside.
However, understand me well. I do not advise against or condemn physical union. All I am saying is that if you really want to find fulfilment on the physical plane, you must first achieve the union of the two principles within."

Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov


If you wish to visit Prosveta's site, or consult the many titles by Omraam Mikhael Aivanhov go to http://www.prosveta-usa.com.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Thursday, November 9, 2000 - 07:31 pm:

Huh!!!


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Boomersint on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 11:04 am:

We are what we think.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts we make the world.
Speak or act with a pure mind
And happiness will follow you
As your shadow, unshakable.
- The Dhammapada

Peace, Love, Light and Happiness
Jeri


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By redbeardedguy on Tuesday, April 3, 2001 - 10:10 pm:

I have never lied about my appearance or who/what I am in internet ads--which may be part of the reason for their spectacular un-success!!! of course, I will take responsibility for whatever other personal perversities I have perpetrated...lol...but at any rate, I'm a big hairy bi guy with not much experience with women...wanna play??? chuckle chuckle chuckle...


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By tallgirl on Tuesday, April 3, 2001 - 11:04 pm:

Well, well, what kind of play you have on your mind redbread?


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By doc.athome on Sunday, May 12, 2002 - 11:14 am:

Honestly, after 28 years of marriage, honesty is the main ingrediant. If you can't be honest withthe person you married, you can't be honest in anything. doc.athome@chartermi.net


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Thursday, August 12, 2004 - 02:04 am:

How To Spot A Player


The signs weren't obvious at first. Sure, you met him at a bar, but lots of people meet at bars. Sure, he seems really busy, but lots of people are really busy. Sure, he won't give you his home number, but he had a good reason, didn't he?

He seemed like prince charming

He seemed like prince charming at first, but turns out that although he was certainly charming, he was no prince. Well, he was a prince; in fact, he's quite princely to quite a number of girls. What are the warning signs that prince charming is a master player? Read on.

He seems to not want you to ever drop by and to not want to ever give you his home number. These are the two hugest warning signs. Think about it. If you can't call his apartment/house, then it's probably because he doesn't want someone who's often there to hear your call. Same with not wanting you to drop by. Chances are, it's because someone else is usually there.

He seems to have wandering eyes

He seems to have wandering eyes or wandering attentions. Now, every guy can't help but see, but not every guy stares! Watch where his eyes go. If they continually go towards the way of the next table's buxom maiden or always seem to be checking out the rest of the room, then start to wonder.

He seems to get a lot of phone calls that he doesn't answer. The smoothest of Player Casanovas will probably keep their phone's ringer muted. Pay attention to how long he takes when he goes to the bathroom (in case of phone calls made from there) when you're out at a restaurant, bar or a club. Pay attention also to your ability to get in touch with him on the spur of the moment. Just because he doesn't answer his phone all of the time when you call, doesn't mean he's a player. If he never seems to answer his phone but often calls back in a few minutes, then raise your suspicions. Also, if he usually claims to be on a long-distance call, talking seriously with a friend, etc. and isn't able to talk, then start to wonder, or at least start to remember his excuses to see if he recycles them.

He seems to keep your dates scheduled to certain nights. Everyone gets and needs time apart and time with friends. However, if it seems like he has your dates on a regimented schedule (Tuesday and Thursday nights, and either Friday or Saturday but never both), and is unflexible and downright rude or obnoxious about giving you extra time or spending time with you on the spur of the moment, sound the warning bells.

He seems to tell you things just too good to be true

He seems to tell you things just too good to be true. Overly smooth, sweet-talking men can attract nearly any woman's attention and many women's favor. However, the standard rule applies: ?If it seems too good to be true, then it probably is.? Compliments are one thing, outrageous and early praise and worship are signs of a whole different game.

He seems not to want to commit but often talks about the future. If it's been several months of talk of taking the relationship to the next level, but nothing seems to actualize, then there's a good chance it's because there's other interests still in his life. Watch when he talks about the future. Is it when you're making love or passionately involved? Try asking him if he meant what he said last night, during the next morning or during a relatively unromantic moment.

Remember, there's nothing necessarily wrong with being with a player, if you enjoy being a player, and know the game well enough to keep your deep-felt emotions out of the track. However, for the sensitive romantics, watch out, for accuracy, honesty and phone habits. No one deserves being played.

MORE TIPS SOON!


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  By Anonymous on Wednesday, August 18, 2004 - 04:16 pm:

Liar, liar ... Sometimes, truth hurts

By AMY WHITE
BEE STAFF WRITER

Last Updated: August 18, 2004, 05:23:33 AM PDT

In a now-infamous cellular phone call, Scott Peterson tells his girlfriend that he's celebrating New Year's Eve 2003 at the Eiffel Tower in France.
But as most of the world knows, Peterson wasn't partying in Paris with Jeff, Francois and Pasqual, as he told Amber Frey.

Far from it. He was in Modesto, where a crowd had gathered for a vigil for his missing wife, Laci.

That and other deceptions would later lead Frey to, in a recorded phone conversation, call Peterson a "pathological liar."

The details coming out at Peterson's death-penalty murder trial, as well as some other high-profile cases, have made lying Topic A at office water coolers, in cafes and living rooms, and on radio and TV talk shows. Who would make up such stories? Why would they?

Lying behavior runs from truly pathological -- when people cannot control the lies that come out of their mouths -- to white lies, aiming not to hurt another's feelings, experts said.

"Dishonesty is something that is just about universal," said James Henman, a Modesto therapist for 30 years. Most people, if put on the spot, will tell a "white lie," such as telling their boss he or she looks nice.

Others will tell a small lie to get out of a jam, or shade their interpretation of an event to their benefit -- sometimes unconsciously.

"It's in their self-interest; that's the reason people lie," said Frank Carson, a Modesto criminal defense attorney.

But then there are those whose lies become more elaborate.

People like Utah resident Mark Hacking, arrested earlier this month for investigation of killing his wife, Lori. Lori Hacking went missing shortly after she discovered her husband had lied for years about his college education and plans to be a doctor; the two had made plans to move to North Carolina, where Mark Hacking was to attend medical school. As it turns out, he wasn't enrolled. He allegedly has admitted killing his wife, but her body has not been found.

And Jayson Blair, a New York Times reporter who was found to have plagiarized, invented quotes and lied about his whereabouts.

Or Stephen Glass, a New Republic writer exposed for fabricating most of his articles.

Or Joseph J. Ellis, a Pulitzer Prize-wining historian and professor who shared moving stories of his experiences in the Vietnam War and anti-war movement -- which never happened.

And former President Clinton, whose impeachment hearings turned up lies intertwined with technicalities.

"They are more prevalent than we'd like to believe, but it makes a big splash when something big hits the news," Henman said.

Lies over truth

Such people often have a disorder called "pseudologia phantastica," or pathological lying, said Dr. Charles Ford, a psychiatrist, professor and author of "Lies! Lies! Lies!!!: The Psychology of Deceit." The condition afflicts a person "who lies when the truth would serve him better."

The condition is not listed as an official diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, used by mental health professionals. The behavior is more a sign of other psychological conditions, from psychopathy to insecurity, psychologists said.

"It's a huge difference of degree and a huge difference of the style and pattern of it," Henman said.

THE NARCISSIST -- Narcissists focus on serving themselves. They generally are not intentionally predatory, but "they are always looking to gain reassurance and attention and approval, and to put themselves in the spotlight," said Philip Trompetter, a Modesto clinical psychologist who specializes in police and forensic psychology.

"They get bored easier, are arrogant and feel they are entitled to things."

Narcissists care only about what they want, and can be so self-centered they think they can construct a reality. They usually know they're lying and may in fact feel proud of themselves for "how fabulous of a lie" they have just concocted, Trompetter said.

THE PSYCHOPATH -- Psychopaths and narcissists "will fabricate elaborate accounts of events in order to pursue their goal," Trompetter said. "Whether it is seduction or avoidance of responsibility or to get out of trouble, the whole point is for them to get what they want."

Psychopaths generally have a collection of characteristics. They use superficial charm to manipulate and con people, with very little remorse or guilt. They are predatory, shallow and
parasitic in their relations with others, while also being impulsive and irresponsible.

"They are the masters at being able to justify their self-serving behaviors," Trompetter said. "There is no inherent sense of guilt for telling a lie … for committing any crime, robbery, burglary or taking someone's life."

THE EMBELLISHER -- Embellishers feel insecure and conclude that they will not be acceptable if seen as they are. They will "puff up" a job résumé or lie in describing their accomplishments and lifestyle. Some consider them "white-collar lies" and see nothing wrong: "I'm just embellishing."

THE CHAMELEON -- Chameleon types also feel insecure, and want more than anything to be accepted. They will say what-ever comes to mind if it will make them fit in or feel liked. "There is a desperation to be accepted, or at least not rejected," Henman said.

THE ENTITLED -- Those who feel entitled believe they deserve to get what they want, no matter what. "It is a relative sense of values," Henman said.

For example, people who decide to violate the law or lie on a résumé because they feel they deserve the job regardless of qualifications. They see themselves as victims rather than perpetrators.

"It's 'If I see myself as a victim and need to lie in order to get what's coming to me, I don't see myself as a liar, or as perpetrating that lie,'" Henman said.

THE PATHOLOGICAL LIAR -- People generally lie because they have something to gain from it. But for pathological or habitual liars, "there is no need or reason, they just seem to do it automatically," he said.

For some, there is "the thrill of the deceit," he said.

Some psychologists define it as "falsification entirely disproportionate to any discernible end in view," committed by a person who has no other discernible disorder.

THE PSYCHOTIC -- Most liars don't believe their stories are reality, as much as they disregard reality. A difference would be the psychotic who is not lying in the traditional sense. Psychotics truly believe their delusions and do not understand that they are not reality, experts said.

Why not tell the truth?

For most major liars, lying is not their only troublesome trait, psychologists said, and usually occurs with other anti-social behaviors.

They are not so much "the person who got caught in a corner and decided to try to deal with the situation by lying," Trompetter said, but more "the person where it is their repetitive pattern of conduct to lie."

The roots of many people's lying behaviors go back to their childhoods, experts said, when for various reasons they didn't develop normal attachments or empathy. For some, lying became a way of survival.

Reasons for lying include sex, money, power, prestige, or to avoid embarrassment or humiliation.

Henman said he is convinced that modern society encourages lying -- from television makeover shows and "do anything to get ahead" reality programs to politicians.

Today's culture values "superficiality over substance," he said. "Society wouldn't know the truth if it bit it in the butt."

Liars can be quite successful in jobs that require adaptability, from sales to running a company or politics.

"Until they get caught, a good liar can generally do very well for themselves," Trompetter said.

As workplaces become more competitive, people feel more pressure to excel, he added, an element he believes was at work in the Blair and Glass cases.

The Internet has made it easier for people to lie as well, especially in chat rooms and on dating sites. Worse, Henman said, are predators who present themselves as teenagers to seduce children online.

Even political correctness and euphemisms used in public and private discourse are part of the lying culture, Henman said.

Seeing public figures "getting away with it" adds to it as well.

Our therapeutic culture focuses on making people feel good, Henman added.

"(People) often lie to hide their shame," Henman said. "But if there is at least some guilt, that's a healthy sign. We have tried so hard in this country to make everybody comfortable that we forget that feeling guilty about lying is a healthy thing."

Why do they keep lying?

Most people lie and keep lying because they have gotten away with it before, Carson said.

"If there's a realistic danger of being caught, they wouldn't do it," he said. "Nobody thinks they will get caught, or they think they can talk their way out of it or be protected or brush it off."

But lying has impacts -- mistrust, a cycle of failure, crime, loss of credibility, the stress of remembering past deceptions.

Ultimately, people who create a mask for themselves that is different from reality can never feel accepted, for fear people will not like them as their real selves, Henman said.

"The deception increases anxiety, which leads to more deception and more resentment and more fear," he said.

Some types of lying behavior can be helped with medication or therapy.

But liars are often quick to blame others, justify or defend their actions or "swear it's the first time it ever happened -- which is in itself a lie," Henman said, "or say it will never happen again, also a lie."

"The biggest problem often is that they don't see it as a problem. Getting caught is the problem."

But how can you tell if someone is lying?

People often avoid eye contact or cover their mouths when they are uttering an untruth, experts said. But accomplished liars also know how to act convincing.

Or at least they think they do.

"I don't think there's a lot of good liars," attorney Carson said. "The problem with a lie is usually if you ask enough questions, it will fall apart."

In many situations, there's more gray area than black and white when it comes to truth, he's found.

"One man's truth is an abominable lie to somebody else," Carson said. "It's very difficult to find out if you've got 'the truth' because everybody has a different perspective."

Yet he believes most people are truthful.

"Whether on the witness stand or in an office chair, it's just easier to tell the truth," he said.

Bee staff writer Amy White can be reached at 578-2318 or awhite@modbee.com.

http://www.modebee.com


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