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  • Five Way Abuses, Dating Over 50
    By A. Brewster Smythe
    .
    TESTIMONIALS

    Date: Thu, 25 Nov 2004 01:02:12 -0000
    To: boomersint@yahoo.com
    Subject: You can find true love here

    Boomersint;
    About Dec of 2002 I joined your group and starting chatting and found it very interesting. I started talking to a man called BoomerXXX after a while we started talking privately, he finally resigned from the group because he was not yet divorced,we kept in touch and in Feb he left his home in Chicago to go to Florida to his brothers to start a new life. On the way he was going to stop here in Spencer ,In to meet me. Well he never left, this turned out to be the greatest love of my life. On Feb 2 last year Gary had a seizure and it was found that he had 32 brain tumors. He died July 14 but I have to thank the people at Boomers international for the best year and a half of my life I would not have traded one second or one memory, the last month was real tough but it was all worth it. See dreams can come true. Thank-God. So I guess I'll be joining your group again. Thanks again XXXXXX

     
     

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    Hello, Ladies! :-) Im an open, truthful, honest, intelligent, expressive, perceptive, sensitive, caring, and courteous (retired) Naval Officer!

     
     
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    Northfolk
    In Finland!


    TOP 10 VALENTINE TIPS


    Visit guyfinley.com
    Article Reprinted:


    Ten DOs and DON’Ts for online dating

    By Sue Mittenthal and Linda Reing, authors of STILL HOT: The Uncensored Guide to Divorce, Dating, Sex, Spite, and Happily Ever After (Running Press, $12.95, April 2008)

    Unless you work in a totally male milieu – for instance, a urologists’s office, NASCAR race track, or beef ‘n’ ale house -- your quest to meet a man will take you to the Internet. The good news is that you’ll find thousands and thousands of guys online, all trolling for dates. On the other hand, be prepared to spend hours and hours learning how to sort the wheat from the chaff. Here’s our crash course on the DOs and DON’Ts of cyberdating.

    DO post a recent photo, and write an honest description of yourself. One of our guy friends salivated over a picture of a gorgeous, blonde, bikini-clad model. Expecting a Cameron Diaz look-alike, he was shocked to meet a morbidly obese woman in a moo-moo. He downed three shots of tequila and fled. On the other hand, we’ve dated men who were relieved and delighted that we simply looked like our pictures. (And believe us, we’re not Cameron.) They were grateful enough to stay through the crème brulée.

    DON’T naively assume that his photo is as up-to-date and accurate as yours. We accepted a date with a guy whose head shot looked perfectly human, even normal. In the flesh he could have passed for Dracula, with a mouthful of rotted, brown, pointy fangs. Never underestimate the power of Photoshop.

    DO learn the lingo of dating profiles. For instance:

    He describes himself as “cuddly.” Translation: chubby. He writes, “I’ve been told I’m very handsome.” Translation: by his mother. He’s “Executive Vice-President of Strategic Planning for a Major Corporation.” Translation: he’s self-employed in some cockamamie business, headquartered in his basement.

    DON’T get taken in by corny, overused come-on lines like, “Looking to spoil the lady of my dreams with flowers and candlelit dinners.” And beware of perfect strangers who promise to “snuggle with you in front of the fireplace” and “enjoy sunset strolls on the beach.” These guys have one thing on their minds. That’s why they took a course on What Women Want to Hear 101.

    DO brush up on your math if he sounds too good to be true: Subtract three inches from his height. Double his weight. Halve his income. Add a decade to his age.

    DON’T choose your dates based on photos. It’s all too easy to scroll through Internet profiles, selecting the Brad Pitt look-alikes and bypassing the rest. Remember, real men lose their hair and grow love handles, yet if you met them in person, you just might find them charming. Besides, if you’re anything like us, you probably don’t look that much like Angelina.

    DO move the conversation along from email to cell phone. Some people are great writers – or even have a friend ghost-writing for them. In a phone chat, you’ll get a better sense of whether your personalities click. Plus you’ll find out if he even has a personality. Note: it’s a bad sign if, during his monologue about his golf swing, you’re checking your watch and praying that you lose your cell-phone signal.

    DON’T disclose where you live or for that matter, any personal information that could lead to your address, such as your home phone number, last name, or an email address that includes your last name. While most men on the Internet are just as normal as you are, you don’t want Hannibal Lecter ringing your doorbell, even if he’s carrying a box of Godiva chocolates. And even if they’re truffles.

    DO take things slowly, though the chemistry may be magnetic. Arrange to meet him in a public place for the first couple of dates. When you know more about him, he can pick you up and drop you off at home, but don’t invite him in just yet – even if he pleads that he urgently has to use your bathroom. Our friend fell for that ploy on a first date, and when she offered her hand as he was leaving, he suddenly French-kissed her, slobbering all over her face. Yum.

    DON’T behave like a kid in a candy store full of online temptations. If you’ve met a nice, sincere guy, and you’re having a good time dating him, don’t fly to your computer the second you get home to flirt with a dozen new seductive suitors. On the Internet, it’s easy to get distracted by the smorgasbord of smooth-talking guys -- only to lose sight of the one who just might be Mr. Right.

    About the Authors:
    Sue Mittenthal and Linda Reing, authors of STILL HOT:
    The Uncensored Guide to Divorce, Dating, Sex, Spite, and Happily Ever After (Running Press, $12.95, April 2008).

    Sue has worked as both an editor and writer for newspapers and magazines. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Boston Globe, Esquire, Family Circle, Glamour, Ladies’ Home Journal, Reader’s Digest, McCall’s and Consumer Reports. She is currently a freelance writer in New York.

    Linda began practicing for a career as a stand-up comic at age 7. When she realized that this would mean performing in front of audiences, she quickly changed gears. Over the years she has continued to embrace humor as her means of coping with the world, as well as a way to entertain friends and family. She is a fundraiser and lives in New York City.

    The authors met when their children were toddlers and reconnected when their husbands toddled off.

    For more information, please visit http://stillhotbook.blogspot.com/

    or http://www.amazon.com/Still-Hot-Uncensored-Divorce-Happily/dp/0762431121

    Anna Suknov
    Senior Publicist
    ----------------------------
    FSB Associates
    65 South Maple Ave
    Basking Ridge, NJ 07920
    Phone: (908) 204-9340
    Fax (908) 204-9341
    ----------------------------
    www.fsbassociates.com
    Internet Marketing Solutions

    A Dating Guide for Baby Boomers
    (Record, The; Bergen County, N.J.)
    In dating, as with everything else, baby boomers have to do it a special way.

    A new book, "Boomer's Guide to Dating (Again)" by clinical psychologist Laurie Helgoe, addresses the needs and attitudes of this much-studied demographic, many of whom are divorced and back in the hunt for companionship.

    Much of the relationship advice today is aimed at the young and restless, Helgoe says. With boomers, she says, "you are not dealing with a fresh slate in which you fantasize about the ideal love and the ideal situation. You've likely had an ideal that has been shattered."

    For boomers who came of dating age during the sexual revolution of the 1960s, this time around is quite different. They may not immediately be looking for marriage or, for that matter, quick sex, she says.

    Catherine Fett, a 43-year-old divorced mother of two, compliments the book for being "adult."

    It speaks to her as someone who has endured the trauma of a failed marriage but is now on the mend. The Massachusetts woman is dating a man who lives in Sacramento, Calif. - a very independent boomer thing to do.

    "I think about things differently," Fett says. "I have a life. I have different priorities than I did when I was in my 20s. Part of the mistakes I've made in the past is trying to make something that isn't necessarily there."

    Dave Miller, a 47-year-old accountant who is newly divorced, says he had a hard time finding relationship information targeting his generation.

    "When I was in my 20s, it was like the whole issue was finding someone, getting married, and having kids - have my parents' life," Miller says. "Now I enjoy dating, meeting people."

    While acknowledging the pain of divorce, Helgoe also points out the thrill of getting to kiss someone new.

    "It's good for people who are dating again to talk to people who have been married a long time and be reminded that a lot of people who are married have fantasies about dating again," she says.

    Boomers, in a word, have maturity, Helgoe says.

    "You already have a sense of identity. You aren't necessarily investing all your ego in relationships," she says. "You walk a little more comfortably in the world."

    FEEDBACK:
    From: aknicka

    Date: Thu May 13, 2004 9:23 pm Subject:

    Re: A Dating Guide for Baby Boomers

    What I need is a guide I can send my grown kids that its okay for their mom to date again - lol - I think they think I am too old for this stuff or something - my granddaughter called this morning to ask why I was having coffee with a stranger tomorrow .... although she might think that I won't be wanting her to bearouond if I'm dating which isns't the case, will have to have a little heart to heart talk with her - anita

    From: "Judy"
    Date: Fri May 14, 2004 5:11 am Subject:

    Re: A Dating Guide for Baby Boomers

    I know when I first started dating after my divorce my son wasn't pleased about it. He was 18 at that time. Now, older with a wife and a baby he doesn't seem to mind. Funny, I asked him the other night if he cared if I had a boyfriend and he said no. It could be that he is used to my dating now but I don't know how he would feel about my living with someone.

    Judy

    From: sll0624@a...

    Date: Fri May 14, 2004 6:06 am Subject:
    Re: [BLC] Re: A Dating Guide for Baby Boomers

    My boys have no problem with me dating. I guess since i've been single 20 years and they were young when i started dating again they are used to it. Both my oldest and youngest really get along with Troy and like him. My middle son hasn't met him yet but he is glad i'm happy. None of them would care if we lived together(we are together on weekends now anyway) they just feel there is someone there for me and it makes me happy. I've got pretty good and pretty understanding sons............

    shari

    Mental Help site



    Boomer's Guide to Dating (Again) by Laurie A. Helgoe List Price: $16.95 Price: $11.87 & eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over $25. See details. You Save: $5.08 (30%) Availability: Usually ships within 24 hours
    Edition: Paperback

    Boomer's Guide to Sex That (Still) Sizzles by Rene, Ph.D. Hollander, Francine Hornberger, Michael Levin List Price: $16.95 Price: $11.87 & eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over $25. See details. You Save: $5.08 (30%) Availability: Usually ships within 24 hours Only 5 left in stock--order soon (more on the way).
    Edition: Paperback Re-entering Dating
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